interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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