Knock knock Fuck off!

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Justin Bieber

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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