1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...