- Anti Joke

Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

mmm i love marble bumhole

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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