What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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