Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A dancer walks into a barre

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down +25

joe galasso from plainview ny

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

thumb_up thumb_down +23

6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are you gay? Because ***** you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops