- Anti Joke

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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