What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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How did the black person die? Of old age

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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good looking women

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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