How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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