what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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