Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

your face

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

Why are white people white? I don't know

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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