What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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