how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops