Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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What's the difference between you and a polar bear? I don't hate the polar bear

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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