Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops