What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops