how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Immigration Laws

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Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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