I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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copy me and i will kill you

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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Justin's life

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: It didn't do it for any good reason,chickens are mindless and do random things,like crossing the road

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops