Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

meatspin.fr

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

SUCK MY NUTS

What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

copy me and i will kill you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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