Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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