Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

What happened to the white man who beat up the black man? He was arrested for assault and battery. What happened to the black man who beat up the white man? He was also arrested for assault and battery. Their races have no superiority to the law.

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

Psychics.

...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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