What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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Hey

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops