Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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