Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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