A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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