What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Dwight Howard

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what is brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops