what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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