How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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