Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Neither have I

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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