Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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