What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What do you call a muslim with a gun I dont know his name

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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A guy walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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