Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops