How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

rarw

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

women rights

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

Brain fart

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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