Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Q: what did the suicide bomber say after the attack? A:

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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