How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops