why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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