Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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want to hear a cat joke? i'm just kitten....

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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cory

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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