Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Hello

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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