Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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