You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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