Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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