What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

thumb_up thumb_down +15

1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops