A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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