Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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matt is fat

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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