What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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woman's rights

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops