A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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