why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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