how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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