How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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pull my finger (farts)

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops