Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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