how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops