I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops