A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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