Donald Trump

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YOLO You only like Oreos

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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Q: Why did the little boy drop his toy? A: He fell and broke his wrist, then dropped it in the emergency room, due to the broken wrist.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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i had a black friend once......just kidding

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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