Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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