A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

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Ebola

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops